I don't want to go back to that life ever again. I thought at that time I was in charge. In reality people took advantage of me. At the same time I was acting as a first class jerk.
Man, I let money get into my head. My judgment was clouded because I had money in the pocket. It was a rush, much like the rush when you are on drugs. However with money, you didn't know you are tripping.
Compounded with drugs and living on the fast lane, I was intoxicated by power. I was a total dickhead.
Looking at the past. I think I am better off being where I am now. I certainly don't want to repeat my dark history with Bipolar and drugs. No more cigarettes. Gosh, no more cigarettes. The most wasteful thing I ever did for 39 years was smoking cigarettes.
I noticed, if I don't have vices, I don't need to spend money.
Definitely no more vices.
I cannot afford to have a flamboyant lifestyle. The watches are the closure. Now is to be as pristine as possible.
If I can help it, I will not even consume sugar and artificial sweeteners. Today I splurged a bit. I drank 3-in-1 coffee. Looks like from now on I stick with water and black coffee.
Once in a while I'll drink Nescafe C Kosong.
Basically Sarah, I am turning into a Spartan. Everything is stoic in nature. I will live at the peak of my life by being as basic as possible.
Everything is based on being the Minimalist.
I am sure I can get rid of Nicorette. The withdrawal is not that bad really. Smoking cessation is the worse. Even dope doesn't have any withdrawal.
Being in mania is pretty much like getting high. The common denominator for both is the dopamine surge.
#traxxfm Hey buddy, superb playlist today. I normally look for the sanguine and inspiring songs so that I can reinforce my Cybernetic Loop.
#traxxfm I am back to being a researcher. Basically I am the n=1 in experimenting with Voluntary Simplicity while aiming to attain health and happiness along the way. We'll do away with more or more expensive and make it with less or less frequent.
I always wonder what's its like to have a super clean life. No traffic summons, no debt, eat clean diet, exercise regularly... Hey I think I'm ready for Sharudin Seven.
I'll be pristine starting with my daily habits. From here I'll make sure I follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City.
Aah... I really love this song:
#traxxfm So I know where I am going all along. Next is to take the action to progressively realize the worthy ideal. Health & Happiness is nothing more *[] (than) about being thin & fast. To achieve that is through diet (OMAD) & exercise (AHAD).
Now that we know, we must do.
Which brings me to the next point; I need to stay away from sugar and processed food.
This is a conscious effort for me. Not because I like sweet stuff but because they are available in abundance in my house.
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#traxxfm If you look at the things I am focusing on right now, I am very far from where you all are going. I am shrinking my perimeters so that I get by with the barest minimum. In my case less is more. Nothing is Everything and Everything is Nothing.
Which means , pretty soon I will run out of things to say.
I don't mind repeating myself. After all I need to reaffirm to myself the same points so that I can embed them in my unconscious mind until they become motor memory.
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#traxxfm If I can stick to the barest minimum and still have maximum delight, I can literally do away with having to SPEND a lot of money just to be happy. As much as possible we need to be mindful of Hedonic Adaptation Trap,
#traxxfm So what is the value of me sending these Tweets to TraXX anyway? I take it that I am having a Knowledge Bank with them. Beyond the point of inception I don't know if there is any value in me doing so. Chiao buddy...
Come to think of it I'm better off reading my books.
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