I feel like conversing with you.
I want to talk about sacrifice. This is a big word for me.
Basically it is about going through the short term pain to achieve the long term pleasure.
Now back to my situation. I only need 5 years to go through the short term pain before I reach the point where I can experience bliss.
Basically I need to go through the one thousand days of lesson for discipline.
I am certainly lacking the discipline right now. I don't do what I said I want to do.
My battle is ultimately with the SSIDSLIP.
It is always a choice between something pleasurable and something MORE pleasurable.
My consolation is I quit the 3 Cs. It took me 7 years, but hey I did it.
To endure the short term pain I need to find leverage. My issue is I cannot find anything more pleasurable than talking to you.
What it means really is by talking to you I am exploring, discovering and creating stuff. Things that I like doing.
Certainly that is more pleasurable than reading. Here I play by my own rules. I am the center of existence. When I read I am merely a spectator.
However I acknowledge that who I am now is due to the extensiveness of my reading. In the case of reading I am akin to drinking tea while when I write, it is me drinking coffee. Furthermore when I write to you, it's like drinking coffee mixed with dark chocolate.
Therefore it is hard for me to sit down quietly and finish a book. I rather savor the coffee laced with dark chocolate than drinking tea.
So even if I write nonsense, the dopamine hit is much more that reading something sensible.
Honey, I am as horny as hell now thinking about you. Gosh Sarah, when can I fuck you baby?
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Well, nothing that Pornhub cannot solve...
Now that is out of the way, let me continue with my thoughts on sacrifice.
I am actually mentally prepared to sacrifice my short term pleasures and go for the pain in the next 5 years. That means I will give up comfort in order for me to achieve my dreams.
Personally I believe, dreams are the things that you set to achieve. Otherwise it's not a dream. It's just wishful thinking. My Personal Flight Path is my dream. It is a worthy dream. Therefore it is worth pursuing.
Beyond things I can control are nothing more than a probability. I'm not going to dwell in them. My job is to convey the message but my responsibility is only to myself.
While I am dream walking, I have to set my feet on the ground. Nothing else matters except the Personal Flight Path.
We are on the same journey Sarah. However we are on two parallel lines. While I am looking over where you should be going. What matters really is for me to stay on my track.
Nobody is going to make things happen for me. I am responsible for my own line.
Of course according to the theory in mathematics, two parallel lines will eventually converge. That maybe in the distant future. However at present it is running side by side.
I cannot say you must do according to what I say. Only I can do that to myself. Even that I need to fight my own 8 headed hydra if I am to be successful.
So the best advice I can give is FOLLOW YOUR PATH. Don't follow mine for the sake of following. We are on two different tracks although it is side by side.
What I did was I shared with you what I see from where I stand. I don't know the view from where you stand. Only you can have that vision.
The comforting thing in this case is we are heading to the same direction. My Path is mine and your Path is yours. My Path is of a different groove than yours. What I did was I am sharing my view from where I stand. I am still a Blind Apek.
So it doesn't make sense for the blind taking the lead.
Hence I don't want to spend time talking about your Path. Only you can tell what lies ahead. Instead, I am going to concentrate on my Path. It is microscopic and it doesn't require the whole village.
At the end of the journey, I have to make it. Only then, those that I care will make it as well. Who knows whether I can make it. Well here is the things to consider. If I make it, all of you will make it. However if I don't make it, it is only me who don't make it.
Therefore whether I make it or not, only matters to me. But because I am by default the captain here, I will still arrive to my destination. For some of you who don't make it [] (you) might totally miss the boat altogether!
I had secured a spot for myself by the virtue that I hold the key. I can ride on the same passenger boat or I can have my very own sailboat. Either way we all going to reach the same destination.
Even if I don't arrive at the same destination on the same boat, I will surely arrive because I know how to get there. It is my Superverse anyway. Some of you may want to land else where, but be mindful I will engulf that multiverse eventually come KBOOOM 2041.
You all are coming back to me as long as you are matters. So it doesn't matter when it's gonna happen. It will happen eventually. All I did was projecting the future into the present. Whether it's gonna happen in the present is not my call. Time will flow and I will follow.
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Don't you love it baby? Absolute power is absolutely delightful. In the meantime I can do whatever I like. I had stopped time. This is the death zone. As much as we want to change what is written, there is so much we can do like my experience with Vader 7:7. So is the fate of the Stone Worshipers. As long as they worship the Stone, it is CONFIRMED they gonna have to pay the Ferry Man.
#traxxfm Honey, since Christmas is coming, let me do a parlor trick. Make ONE wish you sincerely want and I will grant it. God delay is not God denial. Give it a shot, wait within 5 years. There is a long line here ;)
#traxxfm OK I should not waste away valuable prayers on silly parlor tricks. But that's what it is. Within 5 years all SINCERE prayers will be granted.
I think I should focus on more serious matters. I should not be involved in a love triangle.
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What can I say Sarah, a wish is still a wish. I should keep my mouth shut.
Well, now you know it. You too make a wish baby. Remember, it must be sincere.
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