Tuesday, 24 December 2019

25/12/19 ###Sorry for freaking out last night

I think I had a panic attack last night.  It was not without basis though.  I really don't want to be God.

I like being me.  Really.  I ain't much but I'm all that I got.  I don't need to be God.  I am God without the effort to be him.

I guess if I try hard enough, I can be God I suppose.  Maybe what I can say is I'm having a Godly Experience.

If  that's what it is, then initially is was great but after a while it is very ordinary.

The pendulum still swings between polarities for me.  That will always be true for me.  However nowadays it is less intense.

I still cannot get past the notion that we are gods.

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I don't feel like exercising today.  Oh fuck it, I'll exercise.

Later baby...

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I reached Lembah Kiara but I turned back.  I am in a celebratory mood.  so I had chocolate coated Jaffa cakes instead.

It is tempting to go for the Super Combo Nasi Lemak but I decided not to spoil my lunch.  Lizzie will surely cook something special today.

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OK let's look at this issue about me being God.

To be honest, I am not comfortable with the idea.  Maybe during the illusion of grandiose it feels great.  But the truths is, I am a spiritual being experiencing a human experience.

I can expound this experience until I become a superlative.  However, I like being small.  You know...  Just me and a few people that I care.

To be God means I have to extend my jurisdiction to the rest of humanity.  I don't think I am comfortable with the idea.  I am just a simple man.  I am happy curling in my 12 meters square and roam my 10 km radius.

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